There is a little nurse in my pocket, she makes me smile, she makes me think of my little sisters now so far away...she is a nurse so that makes two of us!
I have been back a couple weeks and things have been busy there is one nurse at each unit and that can make for some long days but I have been keeping a running list- all those little graces that pile up and are just sweet to me...
Like the fact that my little sister's taught me about Lalaoopsy dolls and that I now have one here with me so when I think I am the only nurse here Rosy Bumps and Bruises is here as my back up- I am sure you will all be glad to know that Dr. Steve is really the most incredible help and back-up with all the nursing duties, we make a great team!
Then of course there are snuggles with sweet bundles and bubbly toddlers...I had been back several days when I had a couple little ones ask me when I was going to come hold them- uggghh a very real wake up reminder that this is about so much more than medical care, this is about precious little ones and so the best moment of my day was crossing off the "castle coloring" on my to do list! Well maybe not the best- the best was actually finding myself on the floor in the midst of coloring crayons and castle coloring sheets!
Then there were bubble moments- seeing sleeping babies in their beds snuggled and safe, peaceful and prayed over, giggles, train tickets for transports to surgery...
The fact that the diaper rash cream I was handing out this morning said California on it- I thought of you my sweet family! Then there was the fact that the garlic in the fridge was sprouting so I put it in bowl and now I have a garden in my window.
Heidi was here for about 36 hours- a blessing! She is one of our other nurses and not only did she add her hands to the work of baby care and rounds during that time, she also broke into the stock of frozen wrappers and made Lumpia! So good...
There are notes scribbled on black paper with pretty gel ink...
There is the smell of coffee, the sweet one line e-mails that say hello and that I am loved...
Coloring sheets from little sisters...
A pedometer that daily has more steps on it than it did the day before...
Christmas lights that glow in my room- sparkling through the little glass bottles I stuffed them into...
The moon casting my shadow on the roof in the early morning hours...
Seeing my breath in the cold air...
Verses over my door- and on my wall..."Your banner over me is love"
I sit here on the floor of my room near full
length windows that look like they should be made of frosted glass the fog/smog
outside is so incredibly thick this Lunar New Year’s morning that though I can
hear fireworks all around I cannot see any of them. My “magic socks” keeping my toes toasty warm
and the coffee in my cup sipped down keeps getting lower and I am reminded that
a fresh pot might be in order soon. A quilt
snuggled around me keeps me warm but I am missing something, a good fire place
with warmth radiating from the blaze and the cozy of a hearth where you can
inch closer and closer with your back to the heat and your knees pulled up to
your chest. I am telling you I don’t
care what they say the Fireplace App is just not the same as the real thing-
crackles or not. What about a fireplace
makes you feel all cozy and warm, like home?
I am not just meaning because we hang the stockings from the mantle but
somehow it symbolizes warmth, protection from the cold, the place for gathering,
for cooking, for sipping cocoa and coffee.
Maybe that is because I grew up in a family where fireplaces were part
of everyday winter, guys out chopping wood in the summer stacking it up high in perfect rows, meant the
stoves and hearths would keep the houses cozy warm on the cold days. The farm house kitchen with its stove pipe
glowing hot red with Grandpa teasing us all that Santa would never make it down
his chimney and we believed him because we heard the sound of the stove door
opening and closing in the wee hours of the morning making sure to keep the
wood on so that the big open kitchen and living room would be warm and
welcoming on a frosty morning. 
Fire, I have thinking about it a lot these
days. Partly because I am missing home
where with dipping temperatures and icy conditions our South Carolina family
fire place is getting used for more than just decorative candles. Fire can be beautiful like the blaze in the
family room, or the awe that we all have in watching fireworks explode in their
colors and flares of popping sparkles. We
are amazed at its beauty the blue, gold, purple, orange, red, white hot of it,
we are cautious and fearful of it, knowing that a spark in the wrong place
could cost us life or property and yet it is such a part of everyday. I see the prison coal man each morning as he
shovels the coal into the fire of the coal house to send heat into the prison
and guard houses, I see the woman next door with her cooking pots for laundry,
the fire sending steam and boiling bubbly warm everywhere. I see fireworks exploding in the night sky; I
see and hear of places on the news devastated by the effects of fires out of
control. I feel the heat of burning
coals as I stretch out a skewer of marshmallows over the bonfire, family
gathered together around the glowing ring of fire. I see burns on a child and scars left from the
healing, the blisters of pain brought by the heat of a flame, and I hear myself
singing in worship… “Set a fire down in
my soul that I can’t contain that I can’t control, I want more of you God I
want more of you God.” I think about
my God who appears in the burning bush a fire that did not consume but that
drew to Himself, a cloud of flames in a desert land leading a people to
freedom, a Holy fire, flames resting on head.
Fire- all consuming, warming, awesome, terrifying, blazing in the night,
burning sacrifices, a fragrant smoke, a pleasing aroma, a strike of judgment, a
place to prepare a meal of welcome and hospitality. One tiny piece of creation, a flame
representing so much in our lives and as
I consider all that I see around me I must ask, are we really ready for it to
set a fire down in our souls? Are we ready
for this all-consuming fire to burn away the chaff, the wood, hay, and stubble,
to purify the gold, to bring forth from the flames the priceless and
permanent? 
Twilight with Treasured Friends
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