Showing posts with label Every Days. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Every Days. Show all posts

Friday, September 30, 2016

A Pile of Stones in the Mountains

 God’s fingerprints never cease to amaze me, and the way He chooses to remind me in the everyday moments of all His grace poured out in my life.  I contemplated the scene before me.  The rugged rock formations, the crags that rose from the red soil and split the sky jagged and uneven with a dusting of powdered sugar snow all about. 
      The frigid wind so very different from the previous week when I had viewed this same vista under clear blue skies warmed by the sunshine.  The place I was standing was the same but the season had changed so quickly.  I could not help but consider how my life, the graces God has given, and my pile of stones is still the same. He has not changed. Snow falls, sunlight warms, and colors change, but God remains the same. The Rock of my salvation; Who He is and what He has done in my life remains.
 Here I stood in the Garden of the gods knowing that the One True God who formed the mountains and the rocks, amidst which I stood, is the God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  He is the God who calls me to remember, to tell of His greatness, to share of His grace and mercy toward me, and to tell of His salvation to the nations.  The seasons of my life may change, and snow may seem to cover over the pile of stones but it still remains waiting for the sun to shine through and melt the covering allowing me to once again see and share.

 









Thursday, July 9, 2015

Taking it all in...


July 8, 2015

Dear Ones,
  The number of times I have sat down and begun to type a letter to send out to each of you, such as some interesting story attempting to explain the season I have been through during the recent months, is really too many.   Yet here I sit, once again, trying in some way to break it down into bite size pieces of information that will somehow make sense.   Maybe in some small way it is for me an ability to share in a greater way the work that God is doing in my life during this unique active waiting time.  So I would like to share a few glimpses of this teaching-learning time with you.
   I have had the opportunity during this time to sit and talk with many of you face to face, something I so greatly missed while on the other side of the world.  I have been able to share through tears, laughter, long silent pauses to gather my thoughts, and then tumbling words that just rolled out one after another in a torrential flow, it just seems that no matter how hard I try there is not a really easy way to share all that I have seen and heard and held.  I have, and continue to seek out wise counsel that points me ever back to my incredible God and His perfect plans that never fail, His promises that ever sustain, and His Word that is truth.  A special thank you to each of you that have sat and sipped coffee, shared lunch, and taken time to simply sit for what has many times turned into hours of just talking and sharing, the time with each of you has been a precious gift.  I still have many things that I hold very close and ponder in my heart, things not ready to be shared yet.  At times, the possibilities and unknowns seem so overwhelming and I love the way one sweet friend put it, “You just really wish God would send you a text!”  There are days when one of those would be really nice and then I have to remind myself that He has given me His whole text!  His Word is complete, lacking in nothing, I simply need to dig deeper and listen with an open heart to all that He is teaching me in this time of waiting.
    In these days I have had the chance to travel a little to visit friends and supporters.  Some trips have been as close as a local shop, or the farm for time in the fields, biscuit making and impromptu tea parties that poured into my heart.  Others visits have been much further away in distance.  This has been incredibly encouraging and has given me the fun gift of driving, which for me is a wonderful time of thinking and processing.  I love driving and so long roads stretching out for hours ahead are a special thing for me. 
  While visiting a dear China friend who now lives in Washington DC, I had the chance to spend the day alone visiting the Holocaust Museum, which sounds a bit strange, but for me it was a reminder of the war that I have seen fought every day for the lives of little children.  I stood for the longest time reading and looking at the pictures in the display showing the “hospitals” for imperfect children who were placed there to be disposed of through various means, and these were not Jewish children they were German children who did not “meet the standard of the new culture.”  I thought of buildings full of children, halls lined with cots, rooms down dark hallways, and societies that have thrown away what God calls valuable, the very ones that He says are made in His image.  I cried as I stood in a room surrounded by black walls filled with names and thought of a Big House with its roof top walls filled with names… all these lives lost in wars.
  I have spent time relearning what it is like to shop where I can read all the labels, to enter a store and not be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things available on the shelf.  I am remembering what it is to drive in some sort of orderly fashion where red and green lights are not simply pretty decorations and sidewalks are not an extra lane used for passing when needed.
  I was able to spend time visiting my dear friend Sarah who is in the States right now from India.  She and her family opened their home and hearts to me and little Jeremiah while we were in India.   I was once again able to sit down with her, to introduce her to my sister, Melissa, and to have a chance to talk heart to heart. This friend, who knows many of the little details of God’s grace in placing her in my life at a crucial crossroad where she became a faithful shoulder to lean on in the hard.  What an incredible grace gift.
  I have in these past months been given the amazing opportunity to spend time with and serve my family in ways that I have not been able to in years.  I have been given the simple joy of daily washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, preparing lunches for work and school and adding an extra set of hands to the various projects that are being done.  It is amazing to me the vast amount of deep thinking and prayer that can be done while my hands are busy doing the routine and that I can perform with almost rote memory.  During this time, I have been given the beautiful gift of getting to know my two little sisters, I have always been the sister who lived in China, who visited at Christmas, and talked on Skype.  Now I have the privilege of hearing about school lessons, and attending field days, I have the chance to tuck notes in lunch boxes, and spend time with them.  I get to go with them on adventures, have tea parties, play Legos, dress baby dolls, and read stories.  I get to see kindergarten graduation and swim lessons, and listen with smiles to piano lesson renditions of songs.  I have the joy of hearing them tell the stories of Jesus and His love for them and all about their love for Him.  I have loved being able to go with them on their first camping trip, tracheostomies do not mix well with dirt and water so finally having the ability to go camping is a huge event in our family.  I watched as two wiggly little girls learned to fish the same way their older sisters did.  I watched as my daddy patiently showed them how to cast, untangled lines, and then finally baited hooks and sent the lines flying out into the water.   Yes, we did actually cook and eat what they caught!  
  I have spent time reading books that cause me to think, to ponder, to listen closely to what God is teaching me through the pages and then take it all back to the truth of His Word once again.
  I had the humbling experience of being able to attend a very special Show Hope reunion with my family that was hosted by Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman.  We went to Nashville and joined many other families, all with children who had been adopted from the Care Units that I have been working in and I cannot even begin to describe to you the beauty of that time for me.  I was able to see children that I have loved, cared for, held, and prayed over, now in the arms of loving forever families.  It was like a tiny glimpse of Heaven when God will call home all of His adopted ones to their forever home, and His forever family reunion.  I heard my name being called by little voices.  I felt arms around my legs and my neck.   I saw mothers’ and fathers’ tears through my own as I felt an overwhelming sense of God’s abundant grace.  This incredible gift of seeing so many little faces and wiggling bodies filled with life and laughter—I have been most richly blessed.
  Nashville trips have also brought special time for catching up with dear friends, sharing fellowship together, introducing family to people that I have grown to love over the course of my years in China and who have been such an incredible source of friendship and encouragement to me.
  These are just a few glimpses of the days that are being written during this season of my journey, and each moment brings new opportunity to share with various ones the amazing love that God has for orphans and how He provides and cares not only for them but for those who follow His commands to care for them.  I am amazed at every turn at how He teaches me more of Himself and His heart for the lost through the care of the fatherless.  I have had the chance to share with some of you in a very close personal setting.   I wish there was a way I could sit down with a cup of coffee or a peanut butter blitz shake with each one of you and share more.  I am actually very excited that I will be going with my sister, Melissa, and a small team from AFCI (Ambassadors For Christ International) to the Ukraine, July 14-26, to help with a weeklong English/Bible camp for teens.  I am looking forward to having the chance to share with those young people God’s heart for them, His heart for the lost, and His longing to be their Father.  What a joy to know that God uses the experiences in our lives on His calendar to orchestrate opportunities to share in ways that I could never imagine.  I look forward to sharing with you how God uses and leads during this time.  And I am praying that there will be even more opportunities in the time ahead to spend time telling you of all that God is doing and has done as I cease striving and prayerfully wait on Him and His direction for the next step in my journey.

Only by His Grace,
Mariah

What Does It Look Like?


 June 16, 2015

“What does it look like?”  I lift the handle on the faucet and shift it to hot, the clear running water sends steam upwards as it swirls and mixes with the soap forming frothy piles of bubbles on its surface.  The heat of it soothes as my hands slip under the water, testing the temperature, I want this water hot.  A rainbow of bubbles rises and I watch the iridescent changing of colors across their surface.  I close my eyes, “What does it look like?”  My closed eyes allow my mind to bring forth faces one after another each one bringing to mind their precious story, each one unique, each one holding a special piece of my heart, each little life a gift of Grace.  Both hands are in the heat of the water now and their searching below the surface finds the coarse texture of the cloth, grasping it in one hand I open my eyes as my other hand lifts the first glass and begins to wash.  My eyes focus on the verse written across the glass on the picture before me.
“Make me know Your ways,
O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me.
For You are the God of my
Salvation;
For You I wait all the day.
Remember, O Lord, Your
Compassion and Your
 Lovingkindnesses,
For they have been from of old.”
Psalm 25:4-6
  I wrote it up there a few days ago, that clear smooth surface has become a favorite place to jot reminders of who my God is and what He is teaching me in these days.  Now in this moment I am praying these very words, “Lord, teach me Your ways.”  I smile and think to myself as I pick up the next dish, “What does it look like?”  It looks like a pile of dishes, it looks like a meal prepared and served, it looks like a floor mopped and a vacuum cleaner pushed, it looks like a bathroom scrubbed, a porch painted, a basket of laundry sorted, washed, and folded.  It looks like a garden planted, a yard watered, but it is so much more than that.  It is here in what the outside world would see as everyday chores that I am finding words to put to the heart cries, it is here in these moments of doing chores that are so very familiar to my hands that they come automatically where I find the time to think, to ponder, to be amazed at my God’s working.  To consider the work He has given me to do in this season as a gift of time to consider the work that He continues to do in me.  I see the faces of little ones, I consider the suffering and pain I have seen, I contemplate the joy and elation of moments that I still do not fully understand.  I am reminded of His promises to love, provide for and protect and I am given a chance to wonder at what it looks like to see His mighty hand moving to care for each tiny detail. 
It is in this work when I am able to gather together the words to share with others when they ask, “What does it look like?”  


It looks like Remembering this!
It looks like moments with these precious ones...

It looks like family

It looks like Christmas Morning
Like Wearing lots of hats

Fresh Homemade Bread- wheat ground and hand kneaded
It looks like little sister baby dolls, snuggled and set on the bed just right...
It looks like long walks through our woods to the pond with only the company of my Heavenly Father and the dog.

It looks like sweet friendship...

And the fellowship of dear hearts

Like finding a car to share on the journey
And remembering where I am from


It looks like bowls of rice ready for a class of children who are enthusiastic to try their hands at eating with chop sticks
And dressing up to share with those same children some of what my life in China has been like




Sometimes it looks like a spiral of stairs leading to the top of a lighthouse where the light can shine the brightest guiding others to the Light of Lights

It looks like bright dresses and brick ruins...
It looks like being reminded of what are essentials in a Southern Girls wardrobe
And that white is worn after Easter!

It looks like watching an airshow from big brothers strong shoulders



It looks like yummy cheesecake made to celebrate the gift of sister and her birthday.

It looks like fresh farm picked strawberries
And it looks like sisters excitement at veggies picked from the garden for dinner tonight.
It looks like making the swing set fort into a big girls playhouse where sweet girls can cook and clean  and learn to care for their family and the guests they invite.


It looks like savoring coffee with friends and family- please pour me another cup!


It looks like running hard every day...

It looks like taking the boat out and smelling the flowers



It looks like a stack of books.



It looks like the encouragement of a friend, well mixed with family time


It looks like a reunion of families each embracing familiar Chinese baby faces, it looks like a smile of recognition and reaching arms asking for me to pick them up when it has been so very long since I last saw this one, it looks like tear blurred sight, and the look of a mother’s eyes as she reaches to wrap her arms around us both.  It looks like amazing love.  It is a vision of abounding grace.
What does it look like?  It looks like sand castles built on firm foundations of rock.  It looks like everyday moments that are becoming more precious to me as I consider the grace that gives them to me- the God who allows me to see in them the much greater work that He is doing in my life.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Sifting, Saving, Savoring- Simple thoughts





Dear Ones,

  I pull myself up from the floor, careful to miss the rafters as I straighten my neck and shoulders trying to loosen the stiffness as I rise from my kneeling position.  I glance about the attic space around me and contemplate.  The past several weeks I have spent a good deal of time in this space.   I have opened containers and sifted through boxes sorting, piling, unwrapping, carefully rewrapping, and at times discarding various things.  At the moment, I find myself brushing the last of the tears from my cheek and wondering which item brought them on this time.  Was it the hand written note attached to a Christmas ornament from Grandma teasing me that I would be so much happier if I would come home for Christmas with her?  …Was it the little boy outfit from India wrapped carefully in tissue along with a photo of him?…Was it the heart shaped piece of plaster with a hand print formed in its center, a hand that I will never hold again this side of Heaven…maybe it was the neat rows of glass vases reminding me of past pursuits and ventures, the wooden dolls from Haiti, the delicate china tea cup that flashes memories of soft wrinkled hands cradling  it carefully, or the album pulled from that other bin reminding me of who I am and where I have come from.  Here in the midst of this long, low space, the boxes seemingly stare back at me as if they are inviting me to dig deep, to remember. Here I find myself among the memories, the heirlooms, the bits and pieces of mine and my family’s life.  Each item stored here has a story, a tale to tell, they hold memories of my past and opportunities to reflect.  During this process of sorting and cleaning out I have found myself bursting out with laughter at the funny things that I have found, and then there have been the seemingly silliest things that have triggered a flood of sobbing tears that shake my whole body and I have cried until my eyes were dry and there were only stifled sniffles left.  Granted there have been things that were not silly at all that have also caused the tears to fall, and that is a good thing.  There have been times when I have felt as if there was a dam holding back all those tears and I have been afraid to let them fall for fear that they would never stop.  Yet here is where my God is meeting me, here is where He is holding my heart and allowing me to grieve, to be frustrated, to wonder and revel in His plan, His goodness, His Grace!  In going through the old, the stored, the dusty, I am given opportunity to pause and consider not only what the future possibilities are, but also to reflect  on many of the things that I have not had a chance to process through in the past.  In considering this time of furlough I am grateful for the blessing of the tears, for the healing of the laughter, and for the time and ability to be within my family structure knowing that it is a safe place to sift through the various emotions and be reminded ever so gently by them of those things that are true and the One who is Himself Truth for that is the greatest heritage I have.
  Though it is so very hard to process through much of this, I am ever so grateful to be on this portion of my journey, to be here and doing this now, to be growing and learning during this time.  I am also being given the incredible blessing of spending time being part of my family, getting to know my little sisters and delighting in the precious gift of their lives.  I have been overwhelmed by the encouragement and support that each of you have provided.  You have listened, prayed for, hugged, sent messages, called me, and just been there… I am most richly blessed!  I am excited to see what God will do in my life this coming year through it all.  Happy New Year!

Through Grace alone,
Mariah