January 17, 2010

January 17, 2010

Dear Ones,
“Pure and undefiled Religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” – James 1:27
This verse has been running through my head so much lately partly because I am studying the book of James but more so because I am watching it on a daily, moment by moment basis how can I help it when I live in a home filled with orphans. However most times as we serve we are given opportunity to serve and minister in many areas that could not have been truer 9 days ago when I walked into my nursery for morning rounds and immediately sensed that something was very wrong. I still do not speak Chinese well however one look at the faces of my 4 ayis told me that something had happened during the night. They were quiet, and somber, with only mumbled greetings. Each 12 hour shift there are 4 ayis in my nursery, they work the same shifts and have the same children, on this day one of my ayis was missing and an off shift ayi was in her place. In the six months I have been here this was a first, these women are never late and they have never missed a day. My first question was, “What is wrong?” They looked up at me and with tears in their eyes told me, “Qing Xin’s husband died last night- we don’t know why, he was only 40, she has 2 children, Mei Lei A what will she do?” My heart broke, she was right here with me all day yesterday and just 2 days before we had held one another and cried over the death of a little one and now…she was a widow, in China, with two children.
I want to pause here and explain a couple of things so that you have a better understanding of what each of those things means. Here in China widows are not well cared for just as they are not well cared for in many countries of the world, they are considered second class citizens and this was a widow who was already considered to be lower on the social rung for having had 2 children. She and her husband were still paying the fines for the second child along with the higher tuition fees for care and schooling which is required. As the daughter-in-law she is also responsible for the care and well being of her husband’s parents and as she has no siblings herself she must also care for her parents. All of this in a country that says there is no hope but China. I am learning fast to ask what the culturally acceptable things to do are- at home there would be baskets of food, fried chicken, banana pudding, pound cake, loving hugs, flowers, more food, cards, meals for the freezer, and errands that we know have to be taken care of. Having grown up in a family and church that knows how to care for widows and those who have lost a loved one I was ready to spring into action I just needed to know where the culture lines ran.
We discussed it at length and it was decided that we would try something very different for this culture and yet considered acceptable in the eyes of our Chinese friends. (They do not have funerals or memorial services here). Dr. Zhai made a sign explaining what had happened and placed it on a donation box requesting contributions to help out. The ayis began talking about it and the next day when Qing Xin came to work she had tears in her eyes when she saw it. We tried to convince her that she needed to be at home with her children and she told us that she really needed to be here with those who cared about her and where she felt as much love as the children she cared for were loved. We found out that her husband had been complaining of a headache for 2 days and suddenly had fallen over unconscious they got to the hospital as quickly as possible but when examined it was found that he had a massive bleed in his brain and within an hour he was gone…gone. “All of the appointed days” were completed.
One week later I got a call from Linda who is in charge of the facility and oversees the ayis, she wanted to know if we could count the funds so that Qing Xin could pay some bills. What a delight it was to open that box and see it stuffed full of bills. When the counting was complete there was almost a full years wages! Linda was in tears and so were the rest of us- giving without expecting in return is just not done here. When we handed the bulging envelope to Qing Xin there was not a dry eye in the room and by the end of the day all we heard about was that we loved everyone not just the babies but we really cared about the workers and those in distress and there were many of the new ayis who learned for the first time why we are here and Who we are serving, the One whose love motivates us.
I know this letter does not tell much about what I have been doing and yet I hope it gives you another glimpse of the work that is being done and the opportunities that caring for babies provides to care for so many others. And in a country whose population reaches well into the billions that is just a drop in the bucket- Making a difference one life at a time.

With Love for each of you,
Mariah